Valerie DiLuggo, MA (she/her)
I held just about every job suggested for my personality type (ENFJ, Enneagram 2W3) iykyk . . . until I finally realized what I wanted to be: a therapist. (Yep, therapist is ALSO a suggested career path for this type. Playing right into the stereotype, no?)
While I knew this decision would change my professional life, I had NO idea—-let me say it again, NO idea—how much I would change and be impacted by this journey.
While getting my M.A. in Psychology of Marriage & Family Therapy, I found a wealth of knowledge that I so desperately needed in my own life. I was married to a man that I loved and truly adored. But there were some really hard, confusing, sad parts of our relationship we just couldn’t seem to figure out. I felt helpless to fix it and needed help knowing even where to start. I was beginning to lose hope that we could make it work.
But as I continued to study, there came so many aha moments:
that’s why he does that!
that’s why I do that!
this explains why we’re completely missing each other!
it’s only getting worse because we both do this. . .
during a fight I can always try this tool or that one
so research says we should do more of this to make our love last. . .
Step by step, as we applied the tools and put in the work (therapy), the tears dried up, our intimacy grew, and the laughter returned!
I joke that my master’s degree saved my marriage--but it’s not so far from the truth. . .
And now that I’ve seen that this stuff works—I want to share it! I just can’t keep it to myself when there are others just like us who started off saying So THIS is Love!! and now were wondering, So this is LOVE??? I wanted to share all this really helpful knowledge with others! And it needed to be hopeful, joyful, and even fun. It does not have to be as painful as many people think it has to be! (You can even learn one skill before leaving this website!)
I’m still a Marriage & Family Therapist in the state of California. But with all these stories to tell and people I wanted to impact, I created this space outside the therapy room for group programs, relationship & dating coaching, video series, workshops, and more!
When I’m not going on and on about relationship things, you can find me in the water, near the water, staring at the water, or chasing a good sunset. If you can’t find me there, I’m on a trip somewhere exploring new places and new experiences. Oh and my new obsession: pickleball!! (Don’t judge a sport by its name!) I’ll never turn down a good cup of coffee, or a good laugh with friends. . . or strangers. . . really anyone who’ll laugh with me. . .